I can’t make sense of the senseless

January 4, 2010 § 5 Comments

I have always thought of myself as a man of faith — not always strong faith, but faith nonetheless. I believe in God,  I believe he is ultimately good, I believe he has a timing that is his own and that is hard for us to understand at times.

But “believing” those things and coming to terms with them are two totally different things, and today, I just don’t get it.

My uncle was killed in a freak accident today. I still don’t know all of the details, but I know that it just appears to be a totally random accident killed him.

I’m not questioning my uncle’s death — I mean, I don’t understand the why of it all, but I know that death happens.

But what I don’t get, and what tears me up tonight is this: why did my uncle have to suffer through a day like today alone? Why did he die before any of his family, who were racing to be by his side for one last hopeful moment, could get to him? Why did my aunt, cousins, Dad and Grandmother have to go through the trauma of such a horrific day, and find out that they were too late to get to his side?

I want to pray for them all, to ask God for comfort in this extremely difficult time. But what comfort? The most comfort that they could have had — being with my uncle when he died, getting to see him one last time before saying goodbye forever — has already been taken from them.

I’m sure there’s a reason. But tonight, I don’t see it, and I just don’t get why things like this are allowed to happen.


§ 5 Responses to I can’t make sense of the senseless

  • Jenni S. says:

    Oh Lee, I am so, SO sorry for your loss. I think there is rarely a time when death makes sense in the immediate moment. There is much I could say about death and grief based on what we went through, but I don’t think it would be helpful until you and your family have more time to grieve. What I can say is this: there *is* peace to be found — there really is the peace that Paul described — that which passes all understanding, all reason. I pray that God will grant this to your whole family during this time.

  • Driscoll Family says:

    Lee, I’m sorry for your loss. Please know that you’re in our prayers.

    May peace be with you my friend.

  • Lee Taft says:

    Thanks, to both of you, for the kind words and the prayers. I’m a bit less… angry today. I still don’t understand, and I still think it sucks, but I have to lean back on the knowledge that God has reasons and plans that we don’t know.
    Thanks again to both of you guys. It means a lot.

  • Sara Holton Rzemieniewski says:

    Lee, know that my family is praying for you. My dad called to let us girls know and to ask us to be in prayer for your dad. He spent the next day with him and your grandmother before they left for Ohio. I pray for peace and understanding to come soon rather than later. I know this is a difficult time for your family.

  • Jane says:

    Oh, Lee, you are making me cry. I so appreciate your thoughts and prayers. Just know that he loved you, no matter the time or distance. And he loved being able to have Crete together with my kids during that visit in ’08.

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