Friday free for all

May 29, 2009 § Leave a comment

Here are my random thoughts for today.

1. Some days, I hate the internet.

2. Some days, I send Al Gore thank you letters for inventing the internet.

3. People who can’t spell or use proper punctuation on the web frustrate me to no end. I’m also not a big fan of how “texting” language has become acceptable. (U R teh bomb!)

4. Very few things make me smile more than Crete’s laugh. (Especially his fake social laugh. Who knew 19-month olds had social laughs?)

5. Lately, I feel old.

6. I like Twitter more and more every day.

7. I like Magic Hat No. 9 more and more every time I have it, and I’m n0t having it often enough.

8. A lot of days, I’m not sure why my wife married me, but I’m really glad she did.

9. I miss the days when I was cooler than my little brother. (Yes, it was a really long time ago.)

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More proof the Avetts are awesome

May 29, 2009 § Leave a comment

The Boss teamed up with some artists to get their take on Bruce’s music. This is the result.

Ringtone Etiquette

May 28, 2009 § 1 Comment

I work for a company that sells ringtones for cell phones. I used to help test them here at work, and let me tell you, there are some annoying ringtones out there. (Why would anyone want “Bicycle” by Queen as their ringtone?)

I’m all for individualization, and I guess that’s where the whole ringtone craze falls in — ideally, the personalized ringtone serves two purposes: 1.) Allow me to add my personal flair to something that would normally be boring, and 2.) be easily distinguishable so I know when it’s my phone and not yours.

But people, work with me here. Cell phone technology has come a long way, and I need your help to make sure people are staying ahead of the curve.

1. Polytones are not cool anymore: On my first cell phone, I found out that I could create my own ringtone. Do a little research on the web, go to the right screen on the phone, type in 8271630*372#019272*#3992347*3129873098*3827#2981639374 and somehow my phone magically played the Top Gun Theme. But that was in 2003, and I was ridiculously behind the “cool curve” on getting a cell phone. Now, phones can play full MP3 tracks of just about every song ever made. There is no reason for me to have to hear the Mario Brothers Tabernacle Choir’s version of “Kiss Me Through The Phone” every time you get a call.

2. Alerts are supposed to be short: Some people like to have a little mini ringtone that plays every time they get a text message. (Not my thing, but I get it.) But let’s get something straight — this is called an alert. It should not be a full 15-second ringtone. (Yes, I’m talking to you lady 3 cubes down.)

3. Don’t outdate yourself with your ringtone: If you are going to go the route of personalization with your ringtone, then this becomes a lifestyle choice that you constanly have to update to stay in touch with the times. So, you either need to pony up the $2.99 a month to stay current with the music on your phone, or you have to buy a classic that won’t go bad. (Basically what I’m saying is: Ladies, if your ringtone is still “My Humps,” you’re doing it wrong.)

4. Ringback tones are just confusing: I’m pretty sure my grandmother wouldn’t know what to do if she called me and instead of a phone ringing she heard “Don’t Stop Believing.” I think the ringback tone was a good idea, it just didn’t work. Let’s all just pretend it didn’t happen, and move on.

5. Answer your stupid phone: I don’t care how cool/funny/witty/whatever you think your ringtone is. When it’s ringing, the most important thing in your life is to make it stop ringing. The time it takes the average person to switch from “Oh, that ringtone is pretty cool” to “Answer the damn phone already!” is approximately 1.3 seconds. You should never wait for a reaction from people so you can give them the “Pretty awesome, huh?” head nod as you groove to the first 10 seconds of “Baby Got Back.”

Anything I forgot?

My new favorite song

May 27, 2009 § 2 Comments

When I get exposed to new music, I tend to obsess over it for a while. I went into a Jason Mraz phase earlier this year, and I have gone through a John Mayer phase just about every time he comes out with a new album.

I know I’ve mentioned them before, but I still can’t get over this song by my latest musical obsession, the Avett Brothers.

Emily is totally sick of hearing this song, because I’m playing it so much. (That’s the way it normally goes when I’m in my phases.) I’m not sure what it is about this song, or the Avett Brothers in general, that is so appealing. The lyrics are incredible, and they harmonize really well — Em says it’s because they’re family, and that family members (who can sing) can always harmonize and sing well together. (Plus, most of the time, these guys look like Civil War Re-enactment Guys, which is funny.)

Anyways, here’s my attempt to make my musical obsession your musical obsession. Do you have any current musical obsessions I should check out?

Five jobs worse than mine

May 26, 2009 § 2 Comments

Everyone likes to complain about their job, and I’m no different I suppose. Don’t get me wrong — I don’t have a bad job. It’s not physically challenging, I don’t work in a bad environment. I don’t have a boss who is a jerk, and for the most part, my coworkers are pretty great. But still, I like to complain.

But today, I was reminded of the fact that there are people out there who have much worse jobs than me. I was reminded of this as I was laying in the chair at the dentist having a woman scrape plaque off my teeth. (Not a lot mind, you… just a tiny eensie weensie bit of plaque… just enough to make her earn her money). Seriously… how gross is that?

So that got me thinking on my way back in to work about “good” jobs that really suck. (It’s odd that we think of them as “good” jobs simply because they pay well, and don’t consider the humiliation or the consequences around that job as part of the assessment.) So, here’s my list of 5 jobs that are significantly worse than mine.

1. Dental Hygienists: You clean other people’s teeth. I can’t think of much worse than having my hands in other people’s mouths all day, taking your little pointy torture instrument and scraping off last night’s (or worse, last month’s) roast beef from someone’s back teeth. (If you don’t think that the number of times you get poked with the hook is directly related to how disgusting your mouth is, you are a fool.)

And let’s not forget the unbelievable humiliation due to the relationship of hygienist and dentist. “Hi, I’m the Dentist. My name is on the door, I make three times your salary, and I’m in the room for 45 seconds at the end of the visit. I can’t be troubled with teeth that haven’t been cleaned already, so can you scrape all that crap away before I have to look in their mouth? Thanks.”

2. Dermatologists: What’s worse than someone’s mouth funk? How about their acne. Or weird moles. Or weird hairy moles. Or rashes (in bad places.) Or bad acne under early puberty beards. Just disgusting.

3. Proctologists: Other than cool license plates (Seinfeld reference!) there’s nothing good about this job. At all.

4. The guy who changes out the cartridges in our waterfree urinals at work: Look, I’m all for being green and helping save the environment. We have waterless urinals (Google them if you don’t believe me) at work, and they have a cartridge that has to be changed out about once a month. Can you think of much worse than your daily job being driving around from office to office, and going in and collecting a months worth of urine stench in these little cartridges?

5. Daycare workers: I have a kid, and my kid has dirty diapers. I have seen and smelled things that could peel the paint off the wall. I gladly deal with it because it’s my kid — that’s the way it works.

This weekend, I had to keep nursery at our church. I had to change other people’s kids’ dirty diapers. I do this because it’s a way to serve at the church, as a thanks for the other people who keep our kid in the nursery.

But think about the people who work at day care all day, and change other people’s kids’ dirty diapers all day, every day. And unlike parenthood, where your kid grows up, these people just move the growing up kids to the next classroom, and welcome in another crop of poopers. It’s like the diaper chain that never ends.

I know there are other bad jobs out there… what am I overlooking?

Sites you should check out

May 22, 2009 § 3 Comments

Today, I’m going to give you a few of my favorite websites, in hopes that they will become some of your favorite websites too.

First, check out Tripp and Tyler. Tripp’s Blog (http://www.trippcrosby.com) and Tyler’s Blog (http://www.tylerstanton.com) are on my daily must-read list. Tripp is the funniest person I have ever met in my life, and Tyler is a very close second. They update their blogs daily, and never fail to amuse me. Check them out. (They also have a site they run together that has some of their videos and stuff, and it’s very funny as well. http://www.trippandtyler.com. Check it out too.)

Second, if you are a local friend, you really should check out Carpe Durham. (Thanks to Em for turning me on to this one.)  They go around the Dirty D and check out restaurants (and food trucks) and give their honest opinions. It’s good to find so many places to eat that I didn’t even know existed near my house.

Third, you have to check out Snorg Tees. Snorg Tees is my favorite online store. They sell amazingly witty T-shirts that are always good for a laugh. For example:

Finally, you should check out Tweeting Too Hard. I have already gone over my love of Twitter on an earlier blog post, and have admitted to the fact that at times I take myself too seriously and think what I have to say is more important than it really is. Tweeting Too Hard takes people like me and points out their ridiculous posts for everyone to see. Here are a couple of examples on the front page right now:

  • Guy next to me just mocked my 2G iPhone as an “inferior product”. If he only knew who he was talkng to…
  • OMG i was saying how i couldn’t afford the gas to fly daddy’s jet to the riviera this summer, and this barista totally rolled her eyes at me
  • this morning i passed what i thought was a calvin klein ad, but it was just a mirror…how WEIRD!

So there you go. I hope stuff I like becomes stuff you like. Also, please leave me any sites you think I’m missing out on in the comments.

I love Sesame Street

May 19, 2009 § Leave a comment

Apparently, one of the coolest things about parenthood is seeing your child develop an interest in something that you are intersted in. I’m getting my first taste of this experience now as Crete has taken an interest in Sesame Street.

The last two weeks have brought back a flood of my own childhood memories, as I’ve been singing along with Crete to “C is for Cookie” (or “C Cookie” as he calls it), Ernie’s Rubber Ducky song, and the Sesame Street theme song. I’ve even tolerated the full assimilation of Elmo into our lives, as we have to pump Elmo’s Song about 15 times a day. (I hate it honestly, but when your 19 month old looks at you with the world’s sweetest eyes and says in a sweet voice “Elmo Song? More?” you can’t really say no.)

So, we recorded a few episodes of Sesame Street on the DVR, so we could have some to watch whenever we wanted. Yesterday, we played the first one, and saw this:

What the heck is that? That’s not Sesame Street! I want the cheesy music and little kids playing in the park. I want to get a little sad every time I see Big Bird walking in NYC and the World Trade Center is behind him in the background…bring my childhood memories back!!

You didn’t make it better, you just changed it. And Jim Henson is rolling over in his grave.

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